A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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