And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
