that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
