i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
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Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
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So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
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