she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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