The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
PANTIES FOUND
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