so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
