I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She's the barista slut.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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