Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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