I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.