24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.