Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony