Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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