i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
