Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
The best revenge is premature balding
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
