Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
