i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
