the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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