ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
