Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
