some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
