He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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