i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
