you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
