Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
