When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize