My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
