Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Duck Duck Cougar?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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