So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
So much Jack, so little girl.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
