you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
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I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
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I just forgot I was standing up.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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