we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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