didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
