Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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