Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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