I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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