well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
