Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
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he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
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Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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