You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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