I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
