her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
