I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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