Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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