So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
