Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
