i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
