I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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