how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
