a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
