last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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