I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
