That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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