I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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