So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
worst night to have a conscience
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
