The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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