I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
