She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
